


the true meaning of sacrifice

by inlovewithimpossibility



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Not for Barry and Kara Fans, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithimpossibility/pseuds/inlovewithimpossibility
Summary: Around five years after Crisis, Felicity is surprised and angry when a group of three heroes show up at her door demanding help from her.





	the true meaning of sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> I um'ed and ah'ed about posting this because I fully wrote it just for cartharsis in myself but if anyone else can get a similiar feeling, I suppose it's worth posting.

Felicity is used to waking up crying. 

Sleep is not something that has come easy to her since Oliver left. The bed feels too large, too empty, and too cold and when she does finally nod off, it’s usually to nightmares that play out her worst fears and worries. The worst are the images of her family being brutally injured or killed in front of her eyes but there are also the ones that leave her with a dull ache in her chest. The ones that seem more real, somehow. Her imagination of William’s face when he figures out all she’s hidden from him, Mia turning her back and leaving, and then there are the ones that involve her husband.

She sees him, a lot, in her dreams. It’s where she feels most connected to him. Well that and when his smile plants itself on Mia’s sweet little face. There are good dreams of Oliver, memories of nights under the stars and promises whispered in the seconds between one fight and the next. The bad dreams, though, are heart-wrenching.

Felicity has always had a vivid imagination. It’s one of the things that taught her to reach for the stars so early in her life but there are negative parts to it too. She’s been told that wherever her husband is, he’s safe, but there are times where she can picture him, scared of the dark and the loneliness and she tries so hard to reach him but it’s like there’s an invisible wall between them. Kicking and screaming does nothing and she finds herself shocked awake, the blankets thrown off the bed and her daughter stood in the doorway, a terrified expression on her face.

Those are the nights that Felicity holds Mia as tight as she can and prays that her daughter will remain the one thing she never has to let go of.

This morning, however, she wakes up to the strangest sensation, almost like she’s being thrown very lightly up and down on the bed. Groaning, she cracks an eye open to see that it’s Mia on her knees a few feet away. She’s bouncing excitedly and Felicity frowns as she sits up.

“Mama! There’s people here! Like actual people! At _our _house!” Mia tells her and her excitement at that simple statement makes Felicity’s heart aches a little. For Mia to be so excited over something a lot of children never really contemplate just shows how isolated she is.

“Is Auntie Nyssa early?” Felicity questions as she wipes sleep from her eyes, already reaching for her tablet, scared that the people Mia is referring to are members of the Ninth Circle or worse.

“No Mama, not Auntie Nyssa. They’re wearing funny suits, like in the pictures of Daddy where he’s the Green Arrow.” Mia comments and Felicity frowns, pulling up her video feed of the front door.

“What?” She questions before she looks down at the image on her screen. The picture does indeed show three people in superhero costumes. A red, tight suit, a blue suit and red cape with an ‘S’ on the chest, and a distinct white jumpsuit. Barry, Kara and Sara. The sight of them makes Felicity’s blood boil and she places her tablet on the bed, pulling on an old sweatshirt of Oliver’s as she climbs out of bed. “Mia, stay here.”

“But I wants to meet the people, Mama!” Mia tells her, looking up at her excitedly but Felicity shakes her head.

She doesn’t trust Barry and Kara not to let the news of Mia slip to someone and then suddenly have her baby’s safety be compromised. She doesn’t even know how they found them here…

“Mama?”

Mia’s little voice makes her jump, so in her head about the heroes at her door. The knocking gets louder and more intense and Felicity sighs, pushing her hair off her face.

“Mia, no. Please stay here until I come and get you.” She tells her daughter sternly who recognises the tone of her voice and huffs, slumping back against the bed.

“Fine. Can I at least get tablet time?” Mia asks, pursing her lips in a move that is all Felicity and Felicity cannot stop the quirk of her lips as she reaches for Mia’s child-friendly tablet and the headphones designed by Smoak Tech specifically for little heads and ears.

“Use your headphones if you watch anything, okay?” She tells her and Mia nods, taking the tech with a sweet smile.

“Yes, Mama.” She tells her and Felicity cannot help bending over to her, despite the insistent knocking continuing.

“I love you, baby.” She tells her and smiles when Mia puckers her lips, silently asking for a kiss which Felicity happily gives.

“I love you too.” The little girl smiles as Felicity pulls away and the mother chuckles, running a hand over Mia’s hair and taking in the sight of her daughter. She lets her baby girl fortify her as she has since the day Felicity learnt of her existence before she turns and heads to the front door.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.” She calls as it starts to sound like the door is going to be bashed in. She types in the security code and pulls the door open, her eyes widening at the sight of the three people in front of her. She saw them on the security camera, sure, but in real life, the sight of their suits and faces is a shock after all this time.

“Felicity!” Barry grins, his eyes wide and he pulls his hood back off his face. He goes to speak again but Felicity just holds up her hand.

“Whatever you’re here for, the answer is no.” She answers simply, leaning against the door frame and blocking their sight into the home. She’s never expecting company and she has a toddler, their house is reflective of that.

The three heroes frown almost simultaneously. Kara sighs heavily and Barry’s eyebrows furrow but it’s Sara who tilts her head with a concerned look on her face, taking in her appearance with obvious worry.

“Felicity…” Kara tries but Felicity shakes her head.

“No. I have nothing to say to any of you.” She tells them, looking over them. She cannot help the way that her expression softens when her eyes land on Sara, her old friend who is obviously concerned.

“I told you.” Sara comments, looking over at the other two unimpressed and the words make Felicity study them a little closer. Barry and Kara are stood closer together but Sara has distanced herself, she’s stood a little further back, indicating to Felicity that she does not want to be associated with the other two and their views.

“We just need your help. It won’t take more than ten minutes.” Kara tries again and Felicity shakes her head, crossing her arms.

“Won’t you please just hear us out? It’s cold out here and we travelled all the way from Central City.” Barry asks, tilting his head in the way that Felicity had found cute once upon a time but now she just scoffs.

“Yeah sorry, that’s less endearing coming from a man who can run faster than the speed of light.” Felicity hums, raising an eyebrow and Barry sighs, pulling his lips between his teeth in the way that Felicity remembers is his tell for getting agitated.

_Maybe he should stop agitating her. _

“Guys come on, I told you it wasn’t a good idea. Let’s just go.” Sara presses but Barry and Kara seem indignant.

“No. Felicity, there’s literally no one else in the world faster at hacking than you are. We just need ten minutes of your time.” Barry tries the compliment route and Felicity sighs, huffing loudly. She looks over at Sara who bites her lip, tilting her head as she shrugs her shoulders and Felicity huffs again.

“Give me five minutes and I will hear you out. That’s all I’m promising and then you leave me alone and you never come back here. Agreed?” She asks, looking between all the three of them and they all nod, Barry and Kara far more enthusiastically than Sara.

Barry goes to step towards the door but Felicity holds up her hand, halting him from stepping over the threshold. He looks at her confusedly and she opens her mouth to remind him that he agreed to giving her five minutes but Sara beats her to it, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. Felicity hears her hiss at him before she shuts the door and turns around.

It doesn’t take her long to collect all of Mia’s toys, placing them in the hallway closet. She also turns around the photos of her daughter and her heart clenches as she spins the few photos she has of Oliver and their baby as well. She knows that it’s necessary but actually hiding all evidence of her daughter from her own home is rather heartbreaking.

This is supposed to be Mia’s place, the one place she can be herself, where she’s the daughter of Oliver Queen _and_ Felicity Smoak as well as so much more. To hide her from even here feels so wrong but Felicity cannot risk it when she’s unsure she can trust the so-called heroes.

When she’s sure there’s nothing that will immediately give away that a child lives here, she heads back over to the door and pulls it open. it’s obvious that Sara is arguing with the other two from their stance and body language but they all silence when the door opens.

Felicity doesn’t say anything, merely steps back and allows them inside.

She watches as they all take in the cabin. She knows it doesn’t exactly scream her taste, especially with the pictures of her family hidden away, but it has become home over the past years as Mia’s light has spread its way throughout the place.

“Here.” She prompts, not wanting them to scrutinise too much in case she’s missed anything that might indicate Mia’s presence, and leads them over to the couches. “What was it you wanted?”

“We need you to find someone. An assailant we’ve been tracking.” Barry explains and Felicity immediately feels herself stiffen at the demanding tone of his voice and his choice of words.

They don’t _need _her to do anything. They’ve got plenty of people smart enough, just not someone as fast as her at finding people.

“I might need a little more information than that to find them.” She comments, pursing her lips. Kara is still searching the room and Felicity narrows her eyes, trying to tell if she’s using her x-ray vision on the room which would be an incredible invasion of privacy.

“Is there someone else here?” The woman suddenly asks and Felicity frowns, her heartbeat quickening within her chest.

“Nope. Just me. Has been for years.” Felicity lies easily, wondering when she stopped being such a terrible liar.

“So what, you’re just going to live out your days here all alone in this cabin? That’s not a life, Felicity.” Barry tells her, his eyes softening as he looks at her in what she supposes is concern but it doesn’t endear her to him, it only angers her.

“Well, any life I could have had that was worth living was ripped away from me. Actually, because of the two of you, go figure.” Felicity comments dryly, tucking her hair behind her ear with a soft, unimpressed hum. She catches Sara’s eye and she thinks the apology written all over the ex-assassin’s face genuine which makes her heart ache for her old friend and the things they used to share.

“Felicity, Oliver wouldn’t have wanted…” Kara starts but Felicity sees red at the audacity of her to even mention Oliver’s name.

“Don’t you dare. You do not get to waltz in here and tell me what my husband would have wanted for me. Not when you’re the reason that he’s not here right now.” She tells the alien with an unimpressed scoff. As if these people really thought they’d just get to walk in here and get her help. Unbelievable.

“I don’t really know if that’s fair…” Barry starts but Felicity has already had enough and they’ve barely been in her house five minutes.

“Fair? You want to talk about fair? He gave up _everything. _His life, his family, his _world, _to save the two of you. He sacrificed his entire life because he believed that you two were somehow better heroes than him, that you were valuable to the world and that the world needed you. You want to talk about fair? Fair would be the two of you living up to that sacrifice.” She tells them, swallowing down the lump that rises in her throat. She blinks back the angry tears that start to form in her eyes, not wanting to give the supposed ‘heroes’ in front of her anything. Not a chink in the armour, that’s how to get through this.

“Felicity, what Oliver did was incredibly selfless, but we never asked him…” Barry tries again and Felicity chokes on her next breath at the absolute audacity.

“Oh, don’t even give me that bullshit. That’s not what being a hero means and you know it.” Her voice rises louder than she’d like but she can’t help the anger that flows through her at the pure hubris of the man in front of her.

And to think Barry is someone she used to incredibly admire…

“Mama? Why are you yelling?”

Felicity stops dead at the sound of the little voice. That sweet voice, the thing that keeps her going, the reason she pulls herself out of her cold, lonely bed each morning.

Her Mia.

She watches as the little girl takes in the scene in front of her, her eyes widening at the sight of the trio in their suits stood in their plain living room. It doesn’t take long, however, for her little face to morph into a frown as her eyes settle on Felicity and she’s next to her in an instant.

“Mama, are you sad? Are you being mean to my mama?” Mia questions Felicity before she rounds on the others, that fight and gusto that Felicity has encouraged in her bubbling up. She looks these three heroes in the face, all of them almost triple her small stature, but she doesn’t waver as she demands answers for why her mama is upset.

Unluckily for her, the three of them are merely staring at the little girl in complete and utter shock. Kara’s jaw is practically on the floor, Barry’s eyebrows are almost touching his nose from how furrowed they are, and Sara has the starts of tears appearing in her eyes as she looks between Felicity and Mia in disbelief.

“Oh. My. God.”

“No way.”

“_Felicity…” _

“C’mere, baby. It’s okay.” Felicity ignores all three of them and opens her arms to Mia, beckoning her over with a small smile of encouragement. Mia’s brow furrows as she looks between her mother and the three strangers but it only takes a split second for her to walk over to Felicity.

“But you’re sad, Mama!” Mia frowns as she clambers onto her lap and Felicity manages a small smile, tucking a lock of Mia’s messy curls behind her ear.

“I am sad but that’s okay.” She tells her gently and Mia purses her lips before she stands, her feet on either side of Felicity’s legs as she clasps Felicity’s face in her small hands.

“I’ll give you lots of cuddles like you do when I’m sad!” The little girl states and Felicity smiles as her baby’s arms wrap around her neck and she burrows in close.

“Thank you, baby, I feel better already.” She tells her honestly, closing her eyes as she breathes in her daughter. Mia’s been her only solace for these past years, she provides her with the strength she needs now.

“Felicity…” Sara’s voice is obviously full of emotion and Felicity lifts her head, smiling softly at her old friend as she strokes a hand over Mia’s back.

“Is this why you’ve been hiding out here?” Kara asks and Felicity feels her anger start to grow again.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us this!” Barry tells her, his disbelief written all over his face and Felicity frowns.

“I have no obligation to you. John, he’s the only one who knows. Oh, and Laurel.” She explains, as she remembers her old friend who guessed that she was pregnant all those years ago. She keeps her little secret about Nyssa quiet though, but that’s more for Sara than the others.

“Isn’t Laurel…?” Barry frowns, looking over to Sara, and Felicity wants to laugh at the idea that he could actually get _more _insensitive.

“Her Earth-2 counterpart.” Sara answers for Felicity, obviously swallowing down the lump in her throat. Her eyes are still locked on Mia, as if she thinks the child might disappear if she takes her eyes off of her. Felicity understands that, she basically couldn’t let Mia out of her sight for _months _following Oliver leaving.

“As in Black Siren? The murderer? Felicity… of all people to tell. I can’t believe you didn’t trust us with this!”

Barry’s accusatory tone coupled with his disbelieving scoff causes the anger to spike within Felicity and she takes in a deep breath, letting it out in a long sigh. She goes to open her mouth but she’s beaten to it by Mia who squirms out of her arms and is in Barry’s face, pointing her small finger in his face in mere seconds.

“Hey! You don’t talk to my mama like that! You’re a meanie and being a meanie is not nice!”

Felicity is taken aback. She knows that her daughter has fight in her, she’s seen it when she trains with Nyssa, but it’s never so obvious until this point. Barry looks suitably concerned as well, scooting back a little in his seat, and Kara’s eyebrows rise behind her bangs as she takes in the small fiery girl. Sara’s face shows obvious surprise too but also evident admiration and amusement.

“Alright Mia, thank you. That’s enough.” Felicity finally brings herself to say and her daughter’s brow furrows as she turns to look back at her but the right look from her mother has the little girl scurrying back over to her embrace. Felicity stands and lifts Mia to her hip. “I think you should go.”

“You’re not going to help us?” Barry still has the audacity to ask but Felicity turns a far scarier look on him than the one she just used on Mia and it has the speedster quaking.

“Get your people on it. I want nothing to do with it anymore. My concerns lay right here.” She tells him curtly, settling Mia more comfortably on her hip.

“Come on, Barry.” Kara sighs as she stands and leads him towards the door. They both give a look back at Felicity and Mia, Barry shaking his head in disbelief. “Sara?”

“I’ll be a few minutes.” The other blonde tells her with a small smile as she stands from her own seat. Kara nods and leads Barry outside, causing Felicity’s shoulders to slump in relief. Mia is cuddled up close to her and she smiles wearingly at Sara.

“Can I…?” Sara asks as she walks over and Felicity freezes for a moment before she takes a deep breath and nods her head. It’s scary to let other people into their bubble, to let them know about her most closely guarded secret.

Sara, however, feels safe. She’s one of those people that no matter what, Felicity knows they can instantly return to the closeness they once had.

“Baby girl, this is your Aunt Sara,” Felicity tells Mia, sending Sara a reassuring smile as she steps closer. Mia frowns, lifting her head from Felicity’s shoulder and looking at Sara with a discerning look.

“You’re not gonna be mean to my mama, are you?” Mia questions and Sara smiles, stepping up to them even more.

“No, and I going to make sure that those people are never mean to you or your mama again.” She promises and as she looks between Mia and Felicity, the mother knows that it’s a promise she’s making to her as well as the little girl. Felicity appreciates the sentiment but it’s been a long time since she’s trusted people at their words.

“Good,” Mia states with a decisive nod. It seems her daughter doesn’t have the same reservations.

“You’re very brave, Miss Mia,” Sara tells her and Mia smirks brightly, nodding her head.

“Thank you! Mama says I’m gonna be as brave as my daddy by the time I’m all growed up!” She states proudly and Felicity chuckles at how happy that makes Mia. Her father is something for her to aspire to, he’s her hero. Even if she never got the chance to know him.

“As brave as your daddy… well, I knew your daddy and I think you might already be braver than him.” Sara tells her with an amused smirk and her words have Mia lighting up.

“Mama says that Daddy was the bravest man ever. You knew him?” Mia questions, leaning forward in Felicity’s arms, as she reaches for every piece of information she can get about her father. It’s heartbreaking to Felicity and she has to swallow the lump in her throat as she moves to stop Mia falling.

“I did, and he was every bit as brave your mama tells you,” Sara tells her and that lump in Felicity’s throat only grows.

“Mama’s always right.”

“Yes, she is,” Sara replies with a smirk as she looks over at Felicity.

“I like your costume,” Mia states, changing the conversation quickly in the way that only a child can get away with.

“Yeah?” Sara asks with a smile and Mia nods.

“Uh-huh.” She reaches out with her little hand but seems to realise that it’s not something she should do without permission because she stops.

“It’s okay, you can touch,” Sara tells her, nodding her head and Felicity watches as Mia reaches out, her eyes widening as she runs her hand over the leather. It’s heartbreaking, to think that this is an experience Mia could have had with her father but instead the first superhero she gets to properly meet is Sara. 

“Do you have a name? Mama says Daddy’s superhero name was the Green Arrow.” Mia questions and Sara watches the child with an affectionate smile. Felicity’s grateful for her patience but judging by the reverence Sara is watching Mia with, she’s just astounded to be in the child’s presence.

“It was. My name’s the White Canary.” Sara explains and Mia nods, her hand still on Sara’s shoulder.

“Mama?”

“Yeah, baby?” Felicity startles at the question, coughing to dissipate the lump and blinking back her tears.

“Do all superhero names have to have colours in them?” Mia asks and Felicity resists the urge to chuckle. She supposes it’s a fair question but it’s such a funny thing for Mia to focus on right now.

“No, baby, but there’s more than one canary, so Aunt Sara has to separate herself. Does that make sense?” Felicity answers and Mia frowns for a moment before she nods.

“I guess so. Am I gonna see you again, Aunt Sara?”

“If that’s okay with your mama?” Sara replies, looking back at Felicity. The hope is evident in her eyes and seeing how happy this has made Mia means that Felicity’s decision is an easy one.

“As long as you come by yourself but I think maybe it’s good for Mia to meet a few more people.” She confirms with a nod and Sara smiles appreciatively at her, reaching out to squeeze her arm.

“Can you tell me some stories about my daddy next time?” Mia asks excitedly and Sara chuckles, nodding her head.

“I definitely can.” She promises as she moves towards the door and Felicity follows, switching Mia to her other hip as she grows tired.

“Um, Sara?” Felicity asks, her voice apprehensive as she looks out the window to where Barry and Kara are tensely arguing in the yard.

“Already on it. They’ll have no knowledge of this visit in a few minutes.” Sara promises, spinning a familiar device around in her hand with the skilled practice of an assassin. Felicity remembers the memory wiping device from when they’ve teamed up with the Legends before and, whilst she’s not entirely sure she likes them, it’s something she’s prepared to deal with if it will keep Mia safe.

“Thank you.”

“You two look after each other, alright?” Sara smiles, looking between the two of them and Mia nods, wrapping her arms tightly around Felicity’s neck as she pulls her mother closer in a hug.

“Uh-huh!”

“We will. Bye Sara.” Felicity promises, reaching out to grasp her friend’s hand.

“Bye Felicity. Bye Mia.” Sara waves as she steps through the door, keeping her gaze on the small family for a long moment before she heads over to Barry and Kara.

“Bye,” Mia calls after her before she settles down in Felicity’s arms, resting her small head on Felicity’s shoulder. “Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I didn’t like those other people. They were mean.”

“It’s alright. You won’t have to see them again.”

That’s a promise Felicity intends to keep.


End file.
